When You Feel the Need to Be Everything to Everyone

In the times when Evan is in the hospital, I get a lot of texts asking how we’re doing that end with a “let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”

 

Particularly in the beginning, I had a quick reflex to reply with a, “We’re getting by. Thanks!”

 

As I’ve grown over the past couple of years, I’ve been much more willing to ask for what I need, but I think we all tend to have a similar instinct to turn down help when it presents itself.

 

Why? Because, especially in times of crisis, I feel like I need to be everything to everyone. 

 

You too?

 

So, here we are, in another time of crisis. Although different than any crisis that any of us has probably experienced before, a lot of the feelings are the same.

 

Suddenly, I’ve found myself with a whole slew of roles I didn’t have before, along with many I’ve held for a while. I’m a…

• Wife
• Mom
• Sister/Daughter/Friend
• Chef
• Meal Planner
• House Manager
• Preschool Teacher
• Physical Therapist, Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist (OK, all the therapists)
• Social Worker
• Online Instructor
• Writer…

 

I could go on and on.

 

And, I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t go into anything halfway. So, I’m not just a newly-crowned in-home preschool teacher, but I’m trying to be the best darn preschool teacher who ever walked the face of the homeschool scene. In my new therapist role, I’ve seen a countless number of Evan’s therapy sessions, so surely I can fill the shoes of a team of seven professionals based on my observations, right?

 

If I’m honest, I probably get this way all the time, but, when I go into crisis mode, my inner mama bear gets a little bit extra and I feel like I have to do it ALL or it won’t get done right.

 

All too often, though, when I feel like I need to do it all perfectly right, things just end up getting done wrong.

 

Yesterday, we were supposed to do a video session with Evan’s hearing therapist. While these past two weeks of quarantine have certainly been a challenge without Evan’s usual four-plus therapies a week, I was dreading this session and feeling all the pressure to “report” to his therapist all that we’ve been working on in our time at home.

 

Finally, I had to decide instead of continuing to overthink it. And I decided to cancel the teletherapy session and allow our family to focus on just doing the best we can to incorporate strategies from Evan’s therapies naturally into our day. I’m trusting that I have the tools already and that I can use them without forcing it.

 

This principle can apply to everything we are facing here in this challenging season.

 

I am enough as I am and don’t need to be anything more.

 

And so are you.

 

Give yourself permission today to just take a step back from the pressure you’re putting on yourself to be whatever you feel like you “should” be right now. Just be enough for yourself, your family, and your community.

 

You can’t be everything, and you don’t need to be. Just be you, and that is more than enough.